


kitchens, stoves and tables

by oh_la_fraise



Series: born without plot [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, Blindfolds, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 23:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19799554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_la_fraise/pseuds/oh_la_fraise
Summary: David steepled his fingers together, looking at Patrick innocently.  “You know, um, because of all of the emotions and revelations of deep secrets happening, I didn’t get to give you your final birthday present.”





	kitchens, stoves and tables

**Author's Note:**

> Part two of the I should be doing other things series. Title is from, well. . .you get it. (is this technically a song fic?)

David was up to something. Patrick just couldn’t figure out _what._

He’d been sneaking glances at Patrick throughout the day when he didn’t think Patrick was looking. Only Patrick _was_ looking--he always looking at David and his soft sweaters and dimples and quick wit. 

When they finally made it back to Patrick’s apartment, David was practically vibrating with whatever secret he was keeping. Patrick was surprised it hadn’t slipped out already, but David managed to make it through dinner, although he kept throwing smirks Patrick’s way.

“Everything okay?” he finally asked, teasing just a little.

Instead, David smiled wider. “I think you should go take a shower.”

Ah. There it was. David didn’t have a secret; he was just horny. “And you’re planning on joining me?” Patrick asked.

Instead of replying, David steepled his fingers together, looking at Patrick innocently. “You know, um, because of all of the emotions and revelations of deep secrets happening, I didn’t get to give you your final birthday present.”

Ah, so it was a combination: secrets _and_ horniness. 

“Hmm,” he hummed, playing along. “New pajamas? I know you hate my plaid ones.”

David’s face twisted in distaste, waylaid by the thought of the travesty he’d declared Patrick’s old high school sweats. “I’m just saying, it’s a crime to hide that ass--” David shook his head. “Just go shower, please. I have a plan.”

“ _Ooh,_ a plan,” Patrick teased, standing up and kissing David on the cheek. “I’ll be quick, then.” 

“And, um, be thorough,” David added. 

By the time Patrick got out of the shower, he was a little less amused and a lot more turned on. He walked out naked, figuring it was a waste to get dressed, and felt a small burst of satisfaction when David’s eyes darkened. 

Without entirely realizing what happened, Patrick was sprawled on the bed, David hovering over him, the silk black bandana David occasionally wore as an accessory dangling from his hand. Patrick swallowed and nodded, cock twitching, and David brought up the bandana ever so gently, tying it around Patrick’s eyes. The world disappeared and he took a deep breath, getting a whiff of David’s cologne. 

“Um, two things,” David said, voice a little hoarse. “First, there is a, um, _musical_ component that’s part of the experience, but I’ll still be able to hear, so just say stop if you need to, okay? And, um, don’t come until I tell you. This plan has a few steps.”

“ _Am_ I going to be able to hear you tell me?”

“I’ll tap your thigh twice, just like this.” Two fingers rapped quick and hard against Patrick’s leg.

David’s ridiculously large headphones settled over his ears, and a tinkly beat started pumping in. Patrick couldn’t place it until the voice started piping in: _It's your birthday so I know you want to ride out. . ._ “Birthday Sex, really?” Even without being able to see, Patrick knew David was smirking, pleased with himself.

David’s mouth settled at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, sucking lightly. It was a spot that always made Patrick’s knees knock together, and it was no different this time; David knew how to play him like a fiddle, and the scrape of his stubbled turned Patrick on like nothing else. David lingered there for a minute, and Patrick was a little afraid for whatever else David had planned, given that Patrick’s blood felt on fire from rounding second base.

David worked his way down Patrick’s body, stopping to tease at nipples and bite his way down Patrick’s stomach. The song ended and started over. “Is your strategy to keep me from coming too quickly to make me listen to Jeremih over and over again?” he asked, unable to hear David’s response. 

David continued his way down until there was heat on his dick--David wasn’t touching it yet, just letting Patrick feel the warmth of his breath ghosting over it. David pulled back, and Patrick whined a little to his embarrassment. There was a bite at his inner thigh, a little too hard, and Patrick knew he would be able to press his fingers into the bruise it left the next day. 

David swallowed him down briefly, but Patrick was just getting used to the heat when David pulled off, giving the head of Patrick’s cock a quick lick as he went. Then David’s mouth kissed lower and lower, until his hot breath was ghosting over Patrick’s hole. Even though Patrick had assumed this was coming from David’s vague instructions earlier, he still gasped a little when that hot tongue licked its way inside of Patrick. David could do a lot of talented things with his mouth: he was eloquent, and witty, and could tie a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue. He was also really good at eating out Patrick’s ass. 

David’s tongue slipped in and out, tugging at Patrick’s rim until he was wet and open. That was the point that David slipped two slick fingers into him, rubbing over Patrick’s prostate just enough to tease. They pulled out, and Patrick hummed, trying to chase the heat of David’s hand.

He expected the push of David’s cock to carry him the rest of the way through, but instead, there was a softer pressure as something settled inside him. Patrick squirmed, trying to figure out what it was, and he felt David’s hand skim down his ass to settle right at his hole. 

_Fuck,_ Patrick thought, realizing what David had done just as he switched on their strongest vibrator. 

Patrick’s back arched off the bed, hands flying up and smacking into David. He scrabbled for David, and David took guided his hands until they were wrapped around David’s waist. Then David let go, and one of his hands was gripping Patrick’s cock as David sank down on it, bending forward until he was kissing Patrick. 

The constant pressure against his prostate, David’s heat and weight surrounding him, David pressing kisses onto his neck: Patrick wanted to come so badly. But David had said _two taps and you can come,_ and Patrick didn’t want to spoil the ending. “David, baby, _please,_ I don’t know how much longer I can hold out--”

David tensed around his cock, and there was a burst of wet between their stomachs. Then, two quick taps, a pause, two more, and Patrick was shouting, arching into David’s body as he came.

When he came back to himself a few minutes later, the vibrator was off and gone, and the silk was loosening around his eyes. David’s face was soft and dopey, smiling broadly; Patrick wanted to tease him, but he was pretty sure the same look was on his own face. _Don't need candles or cake_ the headphones trilled, and Patrick reached up a shaky hand to tug them off.

“Good?” David asked into the silence, mouth quirking up in a small smile.

“It’s not cute to beg for compliments,” Patrick said, trying to sound as if his brain hadn’t just melted out his ears. David laughed and flopped down on Patrick. They were both sticky and sweaty and covered in David’s come, but Patrick couldn’t bring himself to mind. “So just to recap, you threw me a surprise party which included my parents, got me that really nice briefcase I’d been eyeing, _and_ had planned to fuck my brain out the same night?”

“And I bought you flowers,” David responded sweetly.

 _You say you wanted flowers. . ._ Patrick blinked. “David, tell me you didn’t get me flowers on my birthday just so you could make a sex joke later.”

“The universe works in mysterious ways,” David said, already dozing off. 


End file.
